Death by Puppies

Again, I apologize for the hiatus. 

I feel terrible that I haven't kept up recently and that all I can really contribute are pictures of my future puppy, but you guys, I visited Fletcher this past weekend and it. was. LIFE CHANGING. 

My baby cousin's birthday party was Saturday afternoon so considering I would be trekking back to Pittsburgh anyway, I decided to schedule a visit to meet Fletch. 

I can without a doubt say that it was easily one of the coolest experiences of my life. 

and I think my mom and brother would say the same thing. 

Once we got to the farm and met the breeders/family, they took us into this tiny room were they keep all 6 puppies and I DIED. 

And immediately screamed, "Oh my goodness, they're SO little!!" 

The main breeder let me pick up Fletcher and then she put all the puppies in this red bin and carried them outside so we could play. My family and I were dying at the whole process and how cute it was. 

 In the weekly emails, Fletch and his brothers & sisters look SO much bigger than they are in person; They. Are. TINY. 

AND SO FREAKING CUTE. 

I took this picture after we went and met their mom and dad. When I came back, they were all huddled together in this little clump. 

I. die. 

True story: I just kept thinking of Oprah's voice in my head saying, And YOU get a puppy! And YOU get a puppy! And YOU get a puppy!

It was insane. 

Needless to say, Fletcher was SO much cuter in person.

 He was a hot mess when I was holding him (crying, shaking, the whole nine yards), but I still loved him so. 

We were there for about an hour and I took 144 pictures. 

So I guess I was a hot mess too. 

And, my main squeeze has a blue eye!!!!!!

She had mentioned when he was born that blue merle partis (his color) have the potential to have one brown and one blue eye and it was confirmed while we were there! 

So exciting! 

I honestly can't put into words how amazing the whole experience was. 

I cannot wait for him to come home in 12 days!

Why today sucked and then didn't

This morning, the second I woke up, I had a feeling that today was going to suck. 

Is there anything worse than "knowing" your day is going to be miserable and you haven't even taken off your covers??

I think know not. 

It all started when I woke up without internet. -_____-

It went out righhttt before I went to bed and I figured it had to do with the storms we were having. 

Guess I was wrong. 

I then spent a good 10 minutes trying to fix it and couldn't. So the thought of having to call Comcast when I got home made me even more miserable. 

 Then, as I was getting ready, I dropped my must-have powder  on the flower and it broke into 8 shmillion pieces. 

Insert an even bigger flat face: -_____________-

*thank god I had an extra on hand!*

Lastly, before the clock even struck 5:40 in the morning, I was dyingggg for my tiny pot of vaseline for my lips. They have been so dry lately that I have been wearing the clear vaseline at night, but was determined to find my pink pot to help give me some color while at school. I knew that it had to be in my hurricane of lip products and as I was looking, where did I find it?

At the fucking bottom. 

-_____________________-

I then had to dump allll of them out on the bed to get that damn little pot. 

As I scurried out of the house, I simply kept m-effing my day and even began thinking about how I knew that I was going to come home and write a blog post titled: "Why today sucked." 

But as you can see, that's not the case, because surprisingly my day took a turn for the better. 

It all thankfully started during journalism when 3 of my students told me I looked like Stephanie Tanner. They were looking into the spin off that is coming out and I about died! What a freaking long shot! 

But we then sang cheetah girls together (wish I was kidding) and they made me feel super old when they informed me that they were 5 when high school musical came out. 

I'm sorry, what?!?!

Needless to say we talked about some hard hitting stuff in journalism. 

Then when I had my sixth graders, one class pointed out that I looked "extra fierce" today. They argued that it was the dress, but I argued that it was because I wasn't assigning homework. Either way, there is nothing like relying on comments from 11-12 year olds to boost your mood!

And the day ended with my internet being fixed in less than 10 minutes by following a few steps online. Talk about a win! 

However, I'd like to note that the powder is still on the floor in my bathroom. 

I might just leave it there for a hot minute to remind me that things do get better. 

Puppy Update aka I'm Still Alive

Nothing like not blogging for a solid month. 

I would think about blogging and then would be like, "nah, tomorrow..."

and then before I knew it, "tomorrow" became about 35 days later. 

hashtag typical. 

Any who, I decided to come back with a puppy update, because my mother told me I needed to. 

True story. 

It is neat to go back to February when I blogged about sending out my deposit and now my future pupster is officially 3 weeks old!! 

Originally my apricot dream of a puppy was due March 19th and I planned on naming him Finn, but unfortunately on St. Patrick's Day, Finn and the rest of the litter didn't survive. I essentially laughed off the entire situation because my puppy dying before he was even mine is the epitome of my life. 

I decided to go for the next liter that was due on March 28th, but had to give up on the dream of having an apricot baby. I originally was beyond upset, but I'm dealing with it. 

Needless to say, my future puppy was born on March 28th and he's the cutest!

Well, it has actually taken a bit of time before his cuteness developed. 

I look back at the picture of the day he was born and think he looks like a rat. 

(I'm already acting like a mother by claiming my "child" is the cutest even though he clearly was not.) 

As of right now I will visit him on May 9th (!!!) and then officially pick him up on May 23rd! 

Can you say losing my mind for the next 34 days?

I NEED to start buying him some things in the near future because I am DYING to get those cute little, baby tennis balls and some monogramed blankets because I. AM. A. MESS. over getting allll the dog things. 

And yes, I said monogramed blankets. 

Particularly monogramed baby/swaddle blankets, because I will force teach him to be a cuddler unlike the puppy I grew up with. 

However, the monogramed blanket does mean that I HAVE ANOTHER NAME!!

And let me tell you. Finding ANOTHER name has been a PROCESS. 

Or should I say, proc/mess?!

INTRODUCING...

Fletcher. 

Ugh, I just live for his little self! 

Isn't he the cutest?! 

And what do we think about the name?!

If you hate it or think he's not cute yet, get out. 

You don't belong here. 

I wish I was kidding...

20 things that give me anxiety that probably shouldn't

This past week was my first full week without two hour delays and/ or a snow day since January.
It was both rough and exactly what my students and I needed: the normalcy, routine, and schedule felt SO nice.
But of course it was the reason for the lack of blogging.
Hopefully soon I can figure out more of a schedule of when I'll post, but for now, they're sporadic. And I'm over it.

Moving forward.

I have always had miserable anxiety. 

However, only within the past 6 months did I discover that not everyone worries/has anxiety like I do. I always assumed the way I worry was natural for everybody. 

NAHT. 

But thankfully through the years I have gotten better at dealing with it. 

And only recently have I discovered the power in laughing at what a disaster I am. 

So today I have a list of 20 things that give me anxiety that probably shouldn't 

I wish I was kidding. 

1// Complaining at a Restaurant 

Yes, I asked for no tomatoes, but no I will not complain that they are on my sandwich

2//Returning Clothes/Anything

I'd rather just keep the item

3//Fog

Screw snow

At least you can see the road

4//Sending Emails

Do I sound like an idiot? Is my grammar correct? Shit, what should the subject be? 

Oh, and don't forget to read the 10 more times before clicking send

5//Checking Out at the Store

The pressure of putting my card/change/receipt away quick enough before the person behind me moves forward kills me 

6//Being Early

7//Being On Time

8//Being Late
again, wish I was kidding

9//My Anxiety

10//Parking

11//Meeting New People
#introverttothemax

12//Going to the Grocery Store/Panera in my Hometown 
The risk is not worth the reward

13//Writing Thank You Cards
What if my handwriting isn't centered?
Does this sentence sound weird?
Shit, throw it away and start a new one

14//Being Asked What Time Is It
Did I take too long to look at my watch?

15//Leaving my Apartment 
Did I turn my curling iron off?
Did I lock the front door?

16//Laundry 
I'm that psychotic that I read the "how to wash" tag on every piece of clothing before I put it into the washing machine

17//Lighting & Blowing Out Candles
But what if that tiny flicker that I think went out comes back and sets my apartment on fire?

18//Planning My Outfits for the Week
But what if my students remember that I wore this necklace 3 weeks ago?

19//Picking A Lipstick Color
Will this match?
Is it too aggressive?
Is it too subtle?
Does it fit with the season?
To add gloss or not to add gloss...

20//Clicking Publish
I mean...
doesn't reading 1-19 make 20 pretty obvious

snow day necessities

Today marks my fifth snow day. 

Since January 5th, I have had five days off because of *bad* weather.

You see, any normal state would close because of actual bad weather, but not Maryland. 

They're like, Oh, were getting an inch on Saturday? Might as well close school on Monday! 

That's a complete exaggeration and yet there is some truth to it. 

Today's snow day was because of an ice storm we had yesterday. Like during the day on Sunday. Nothing fell last night, but I guess it all refroze. When my friend Casey, whom I teach with, texted me that we were closed, I became that teacher who was upset at what this does to my weekly plans. 

She of course put me right back into my place of not complaining about no school. 

Below are two pictures from I believe the second and third snow days. When actual snow fell. 

Good thing you can still see the grass! 

-_____________-

So now that I'm going on my fifth one I figured I'd share my necessities, because how might you're day go on without knowing my snow day necessities???

Kidding. 

I decided to show you because I'm bored out of my mind. 

1. My Knitting

Which I bought on my second snow day because the roads were fine. 

2. An Eye Mask

To block out the sun while I cat nap in order to pass time. 

3. Andy Cohen's Book, The Andy Cohen Diaries 

I got the book for Christmas, but haven't had time to read it since I've been reading my puppy book. And then my friend told me I had to start it because he talks about getting a dog and it is FAB. 

My favorite quote thus far: "Another two-hour massage after the show. Total luxury. Again I lay there wondering what the fuck that dog is going to do while I get it a massage. Sleep? Watch? Bark?" 

Remove the whole massage part and insert "do anything" and that is my exact thought. 

4. My iPad

To watch Desperate Housewives with, obviously. 

This is my second time going through the series and I forgot how effing amazing it is. 

Such a classic. 

And because we all know that I had time to stage the photo above, here is all of it in its natural habitat. 

All scattered on my bed within reach. 

Just where I like it. 

Phew, now you my proceed with the rest of your day and I apologize for taking your last 3 minutes. 

I'm off to watch desperate housewives while I knit so things are getting pretty cray if I do say so myself. 

Currently (II)

-Thanking the washing machine gods that the dry erase marker that must've been in a pair of my pants didn't open and turn my clothes red. I legit DIED when I opened the top of the machine and saw it sitting so nicely. Before I even took it out, I snapped a pic. 

Can't decide which is worse: #bloggerprobs or #teacherprobs 

-Having far too much anxiety over iPhone case shopping. Needless to say, on Friday, I spilled water all over my desk, pants, and phone. Surprisingly it survived, but I'm up this weekend for an upgrade so I finally decided on getting the iPad iPhone 6 plus. 

I know, I know, it's large and in charge, but I think I'll love it! 

I've looked at what feels like 8 million cases only to decide on the cliché leather soft pink case by apple. I just live for the simplicity, but I'd be lying if I said this flamingo one still makes my heart aflutter. 

//apple case//flamingo case//

-Wanting the next 83 days to fly by because, roughly, by May 15th I'll be picking up my future fur baby!  My deposit that I sent out put me second in line for a puppy and the litter is due March 19th which means I'll *hopefully* be able to pick *him* up on May 15th! 

If I'm being completely honest, I'm scared shit less to be in charge of a living being, but I'm currently reading "The Art of Raising a Puppy" and constantly googling new questions/thoughts that go through my head so that I will at least feel prepared.  

But besides educating and preparing myself, picking a name is driving me insane.
I  have a running list of names to which I keep mentioning to people to get their opinion and I'm a disaster over it.
God only knows what it's like to name an actual human being.
That's when I will definitely earn my four millionth title of being a hot mess.
Wait, can I name him hot mess?
kidding. 

sort of...

Current Drugstore Faves

Or should I say, "Current Target Faves" 

Because let's be honest, who actually shops at the drugstore?

Prices are insanely high (cough Walgreens cough) and they're not Target. 

The end. 

After my Target trip yesterday & today (poor, hot mess over here), I decided to show you (aka my mother) some of my current must haves. I could have honestly shown you 8,000 products, but I limited myself to the products where I have backups. Aka I have at least an extra of each of these items below my bathroom sink. THAT my friend, is a must have. 

So, let's get started: 

1. Garnier Fructis Damage Eraser Split-End Bandage: 

Life. Saving. I tell you! 

With living a state away from my hair dresser, it is becoming quite the ordeal to get my hair done. Some days I look at my split ends and contemplate just making an appointment for a quick trim, but we all know how quick trims end up...not being quick, but more so being drastic. 

So because I not in the market for a bob anytime soon, I decided to give this a go to help with my split ends before my appointment at the beginning of April and thank the lord, baby jesus this stuff worked. 

It obviously doesn't get rid of your split ends, but it makes them look less dead/scary. Especially since I curl my hair at least 3-5 days a week, it helps the ends not look so far gone. Plus it adds extra smoothness to my hair in general. Can't speak higher of this product! 

2. Loreal True Match Super Blendable Crayon Concealer (N-1-2-3): 

Finish reading this post and go buy this concealer. I'm not kidding. 

This concealer is the. BEST. 

It's great at covering rough under-eyes and any/all blemishes. Also, I am a firm believer in the True Match line. I did the whole little true match quiz in target (You can also take it here!) and it really works. I have three of the different True Match foundations (obsessed) and love that this concealer works with all three. Although it's a little pricey, it's DEF worth it. 

3. Rimmel Exaggerate Lip Liner in East End Snob: 

Yes, a lip liner. 

And can I tell you that this lip liner has changed my life. 

Which means I should probably get a life, but that's for another day. 

I bought this lip liner while home on Thanksgiving break, I believe, after Amelia Liana claimed it was a dupe for Charlotte Tilbury's Lip Cheat Lip Liner in Pillow Talk and I have been hooked ever since. 

It is the ultimate your lips but better lip product. 

It is creamy, long-lasting, and blends so well with other lip products as well. Again, can't speak highly enough of this! 

P.S. East end snob is a hard color to find so when you do, buy them all! 

True story: Two of my MD targets didn't have them and I was running a bit low (cue anxiety), but thankfully when I went home last weekend, my PA Walmart came to the rescue! I contemplated buying all of them for probably longer than one should (there were 10), so I ended up getting 3. 

Nothing like a current must have post to prove what a  hot mess you are. 

4. Rimmel Stay Matte Pressed Powder: 

Anyone else go through powder like none other? Or is it just me? 

Even if it is just me, I am SO thankful that I have found this powder. I have tried so many different loose/mattefying powders and this is definitely the best. I have three on back up/under my sink so you know it's a must have. I don't want you thinking I rip through them like none other, I just have bizarre anxiety/ocd about running out at any given moment. Again, hot mess. 

Since it's relatively cheap compared to more "popular" drugstore brands, I was skeptical that it wouldn't provide much coverage, let alone mattefying coverage, but it does! I swear by this stuff. The color above is transparent, but I also use buff beige sometimes as well. 

Please tell me I'm not the only one hot mess who has their faves on back up?